The prize goes to Kylie for reminding us that it's easy to be tolerant to those we like, but true tolerance includes being nice to stinking ginger freaks!

Melanie Dickson (Tracy-Ann Oberman) in episode 1.1

From now on, no more coffee, you will only drink your own urine, like I do. [Gasps] In fact, you will drink my urine. [Gasps] And no more biscuits, you will eat only horses. [Gasps] And no more books, these kids can't read anyway.

On ways to save money in episode 1.1

Illegal? Kidnapping? Are you sure? This is polictical correctness gone mad.

Mr. Bibby (Graeme Garden)

Tolerance is for gays.

Latrina (Nina Conti)

Ah, Mr.Bibb... I've seen the future, and it is porn, sharks and Nazis.

Iqbal (Simon Greenall)

These kids are like my children. Except I'm not banned from going within a mile of their houses.

Iqbal (Simon Greenall)